Before you buy your child’s first phone, read this first.

Every year at about this time, I dust off this article, update it, and hope parents will read and share it with their friends. There will be millions of children returning to school after the holidays with brand new shiny phones with no guidelines or parental controls. The result is a new crop of incidents of bullying, threats, anxiety, depression, and sexual exploitation.  I have investigated thousands of incidents of online abuse. They all have one thing in common: their parents had NO IDEA what was going on in their child’s digital world. If they did, they could have done something to avoid the resulting trauma in their child’s life.

Should I buy my child a phone?

“Should I buy my child a phone ?” is a question every parent should ask themselves before they run out and buy their child’s first phone. Unfortunately, most parents don’t.

After a recent parent talk I performed at a large elementary school, a grief-stricken parent walked up to me and said, “I think I made a horrible mistake, I promised to buy my 9-year-old an iPhone for Christmas.” This parent just sat through my two-hour seminar and now realizes what is potentially in store for her daughter and what she, as her mother, will have to do to keep her safe. When a parent asks me when they should buy a phone for their kid, I ask, “Why does your child need a phone?” Are they a pre-teen? Do you drop them off at school/sports events and pick them up? If that is the case, why do they need a phone? Or, how about this: Do they need a smartphone? What about giving them a “flip” phone with no Internet access? Just some ideas to consider.

You have decided to buy your child their first smartphone, now what?

1. Review the Mobile Device and Internet Contract with your child.

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